Today I'm 52 years old; I'm old like a deck of cards. I suspect that I'm the joker. I'm certainly no ace, and I haven't even the slightest shred of desire to be a king.

This weblog entry grew out of an e-mail to an old and dear friend. You know who you are. I hope that you don't mind that I generalized and chose to share my note of gratitude with a wider audience.

I was chatting with my friend Fred this weekend. I was telling him about something that I'm doing, that I'm kind of excited about. I took it for granted, until he put it into perspective for me. I am currently taking classes at the New Haven Citizen's Police Academy.

Fred's reaction was to recount some of the exploits of my youth. I don't deny them, but I don't spend much time remembering or thinking about them, either. It is so very odd to think that some people still remember that about me after all these long years and many changes. Then again, Fred lives in New Jersey and I live in New England; we often go years without seeing each other.

Ironically, I saw Fred recently. He was at his sister Shirley's annual Twelfth Night party, which I was also part of this year. He announced to the room that I was the only person there that had never dumped his motorcycle. I got some obviously impressed glances, but I immediately set the crowd straight by pointing out that this was because I have never owned or driven a motorcycle. Typical Fred humor.

So here I am. I sit in a cube, staring at a computer monitor all day. I drive a 4-door car (albeit, not a sedan). I've received commendations for service (mostly meaning that I was involved; I did nothing special) from the New Haven Public Schools, the American Red Cross, the Boy Scouts of America, and the Department of Homeland Security, among other staid old organizations. I'm involved in local politics. I work for a Fortune 50. I've helped raise 2 children, both in their mid-20s now, and I find myself saying the same kinds of things about their music that my parents once said about mine.

And now, I find myself involved with -- of all organizations! -- my local police department.

My, how things have changed!

Or, have they, really?

I never had anything against cops. And yes, I was an outcast. But a lot of that was due to the fact that, being a geek, I was made an outcast by my peers, particularly at school. "Oh, yeah? You want to make me an outcast, huh? Well, watch this, pal!" You know the routine; many of you have done as much yourselves; most of you understand.

Somehow, the world changed, and geeks like me got accepted, maybe even fashionable. If I had been born even a generation ago I'd be toiling thanklessly behind a desk for modest compensation. I'd probably be wearing a green eye shade at work. But the world has changed since then; I don't wear an eye shade.

I lucked out. With the grace of God, and the help of innumerable friends, I survived my teenage years, I rode the wave, and I'm still balancing. I'm watching my own kids grow. I've watched some of my own peers, and yes theirs too, drown. We're the lucky ones; we are not only survivors, we're some of the lucky ones. Yes, we. If you're reading this, you're probably one of The Lucky Ones, too. Let's call ourselves that; let's periodically remember, and be grateful, huh? We're The Lucky Ones. We're TLOs.

I'm having more fun than I've ever had before in my life. In fact, I'm having more fun than I ever dared hope or dream that I would!

Many people helped put me here. You may be one of them. In any case, you probably have a similar story to tell, and friends to thank that I'd recognize or understand. I might have gotten through my crazy teenage years without people just like you; maybe, but I'm not so sure of that, and there is no question that people like you made those years easier and happier.

My life went in a direction that I hadn't expected. But it's a good direction. How about you?

I have all the toys and gizmos and shiny gadgets I could ever hope for. This is not a birthday for presents. This is not a birthday for wanting something or for getting something that I've been wanting. I have all I need, in abundance; to count my myriad blessings would take hours.

No, this birthday is a time to look with amazement and contentment at how much I have, how far I've come, how happy I am to have woken up on this side of the grass in this particular world on this particular morning, how fortunate I was to have had so many people like you to help me get here, and how very, very lucky I am to still have crazy brilliant jokers in my life to share these good years with!

Let's all keep rolling right into full-blown curmudgeon-hood with smiles on our faces^1.! If we ever end up in wheelchairs, I'll race you. And I'll bet you a milkshake -- any of you! -- right now, that I'll beat you to the end of the hall. To heck with those old nurses; when we get old, let's still be drinking milkshakes and laughing our fool heads off at this crazy beautiful world!

Peace. Joy. Love.

What a long, strange trip it's been.

Thank you -- Yes, you! -- for being part of it.

1.	Yes, as a matter of fact, I can be a curmudgeon and a joker, if I want to! It's my birthday; I can do as I darn well please! So there!
2.	Thank you, Ed, for pointing out that I can't be the Joker, the joker being the 53rd card.