Subject: Sister Mary's Original Cure

Heard today, from a co-worker:

Mister Mary Katherine lived in a nunnery, a block away from Jack's liquor 
store.  One day, in walked Sister Mary K. and she said: "Oh Jack, give me 
a pint o' the brandy."  "Sister Mary Katherine," exclaimed Jack, "I could 
never do that!  I've never sold alcohol to a nun in my life!"  "Oh Jack," 
she responed, "it's only for the Mother Superior."  Her voice dropped.  
"It helps her constipation, you know."  So Jack sold her the brandy.

Later that night Jack closed the store and walked home.  As he passed the
nunnery, who should he see but Sister Mary Katherine?  And she was
snockered.  She was singing and dancing, whirling around and flapping her
arms like a bird, right there on the sidewalk.  A crowd was gathering. 

Jack pushed through and exclaimed: "Sister Mary Katherine!  For 
shame!  And you told me this was for the Mother Superior's 
constipation!"  Sister Mary K. didn't miss a beat as she replied: "And so 
it is, me lad, so it is.  When she sees me, she's going to s**t!"

                                   *****

Subject: Just like Poland Spring? [TRUE]

I heard this today, on Connecticut Public Radio.

The (Greater New Haven) Regional Water Authority was broadcasting a 
non-commercial.  (Commercial Radio has commercials.  Public Radio has 
sponsors. :-) 

In their UnCommercial, they claimed that their water is as pure as any
"designer spring water", and to convince you, they were offering free 
bottles so you can "bottle your own" tap water... 

...however, in the next sentence, they suggested chilling your tap water,
 "to mask the taste of the chlorine"!  

Yum!