From ED_STANNARD.parti@ecunet.orgTue Apr 23 15:29:20 1996 Date: Tue, 23 Apr 96 14:00:28 EDT From: ED_STANNARD.parti@ecunet.org To: HFARKAS@carfax.ims.advantis.com To: hfarkas@ims.advantis.com Hi Henry, I have two e-mail addresses for you. I suspect they're both the same, but I want to eliminate one. I'm sending this via both. Please let me know which one to remove (and if you only get one copy, which address it arrived at). What did you want to ask Sunday morning? Or were you just annoying Jenny? It was great to chat with you Saturday. *** Original (but possibly edited) note follows *** Some important theological questions can best be answered by thinking of God as a computer programmer: Q: Did God really create the world in seven days? A: He did it in six days and nights while living on cola and candy bars. On the seventh day he went home and found out his girlfriend had left him. Q: What causes God to intervene in earthly affairs? A: If a critical error occurs, the system pages him automatically and he logs on from home to try to bring it up. Otherwise, things can wait until tomorrow. Q: How come the Age of Miracles ended? A: That was the development phase of the project. Now we're in the maintenance phase. Q: Who is Satan? A: Satan is an MIS director who takes credit for more powers than he actually possesses, so nonprogrammers become scared of him. God thinks he's irritating but irrelevant. Q: Why does God allow evil to happen? A: God thought he eliminated evil in one of the earlier revs. Q: How can I protect myself from evil? A: Change your password every month and don't make it a name, a common word, or a date like your birthday. Q: If I pray to God, will he listen? A: You can waste his time telling him what to do, or you can just get off his back and let him program. Q: Some people claim they hear the voice of God. Is this true? A: They are much more likely to receive email. *** End of original note *** Peace, Ed "This is the day that the Lord has made, Let us rejoice and be glad in it!" <800-334-7626x5375> Murphy was an optimist.