I didn't do it.  I wasn't there.  I wasn't even in town.  I didn't
hear about it until after I got back.  And then I thought it was
just a rumor.  I don't know anything about the stain on the rug, I
don't know anyone who was involved, nobody told me a thing, I can
explain about the cooking oil, I don't even own a 9 mm, she said
she was over 18, and besides, I was drunk at the time.