Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullshit before.
  -Stephen, via Alma

A friend of mine wrote:

> What makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder
> about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all
> been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How
> about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
>                                                                                                
> Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these 
> questions:   
>
> If:                                                                                         
> A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z                                         
>                                                                                                 
> is represented as:                                                                          
> 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26
>                                                                                                 
> Then:                                                                                       
>                                                                                                
> H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K                                                                             
> 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%                                                                  
>                                                                                                
> and                                                                                         
>                                                                                                
> K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E                                                                           
> 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%                                                                
>                                                                                                
> But,                                                                                        
>                                                                                                
> A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E      
> 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%                                                                  
>                                                                                                
> HOWEVER...
>                                                                                                
> B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T                                                                             
> 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%                                                                 
>                                                                                                
> AND...
>                                                                                                
> A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G                                                                         
> 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%                                                            
> 
> So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while Hard work
> and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's
> the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.

Henry replies:

You make an excellent point, one that we've all seen demonstrated.  
But perhaps you need to look a little deeper?  Into the glass, perhaps?

H   E   A   V    Y      D   R    I    N    K    I   N    G
8 + 5 + 1 + 22 + 25  +  4 + 15 + 10 + 14 + 11 + 9 + 14 + 7 = 130

Heavy drinking wins. It also makes the 103 and all the 118-ing much easier 
to take.

I rest my case.

Plus, we have a couple of new phrases that we can safely use in public, in 
meetings, and even when the subject is around.  You can turn to the person 
next to you in the meeting, while the boss is talking, and simply say 103 
without getting fired.  Or, you can roll your eyes and say: "Steve is 
118-ing again."

However, from sad personal experience, I must warn you all against a
related activity.  When your boss is giving a presentation, even if he
likes you and even if he normally has a great sense of humor... DO NOT
EVER play Buzzword Bingo while he's giving a presentation!  Serious!  
I tried it, got caught, found out that there are consequences, and you 
won't like 'em!